Matthew 28:16-20
It was a time of wonder. And it was a time of fear. The eleven disciples had just heard what was most difficult to believe. Some of the women among them, also disciples, had gone to Jesus’ tomb and had found it empty. And those women came back to the eleven with a message: Go ahead to Galilee. He will meet you there. Jesus will meet you there.
It’s like they had gone full circle, isn’t it? Galilee is right where their ministry started. It was right where they had seen their lives transformed, where they had seen other lives transformed. Healings, prayers, meals where everyone was included, and life-altering parables, they had seen it, traveling around Galilee with Jesus.
And now, after their experience of grief, pain, and confusion in Jerusalem, they return to Galilee, uncertain of so many things. They doubted. Could it be? Could he be? But even in their doubt, they risked the journey. They went to that mountain in Galilee. And there was Jesus – the Risen Christ – standing right in front of them, sending them out to be who they were called to be from the beginning, people who are commissioned, sent in love to disciple others, called to baptize others into the Name of God which is a Communion of Love – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit - and to send these new disciples out as well, living as the ones they were created to be. This was full circle, this arrival in Galilee. And these disciples were being commissioned to participate in a circle that was becoming deeper and more widespread all the time. A full and progressively fuller circle.
I’m grateful that the text says they doubted. I’m not grateful that they had an experience of doubt – that’s never a pleasant experience - but I am grateful that they were like us. Sometimes we doubt. We doubt God. We doubt possibilities. We doubt ourselves. We doubt one another. We doubt too.
The translation we heard tonight says that “some” doubted when they worshiped Jesus on the mountain. So do a few other English translations. “Some.” But I was stunned and oddly heartened when I discovered the Greek text of this passage doesn’t say the word ‘some’. It just isn’t there. It says, “But they doubted.” Not ‘some’. ‘They’. That sounds like all to me. The word “some” is in a few variant manuscripts of Greek that were copied later, but the word isn’t there in the majority of Greek manuscripts. Who knows? Maybe English translators wanted to be comforted that doubt was there. . . but it was only some of those people, you know. . . those people, those doubter people. Not us. No, the disciples all doubted. We’re all doubters at least at one time or another.
And so Jesus – the Risen Christ - looks at the bunch of them - rag-tag people, really. They were fishermen and tax-collectors. Nothing really special, at least not in any extraordinary sense. Jesus knows they’re a bunch of doubters and a rag-tag group of people who aren’t too extraordinary in the world’s eyes. He sees them for who they are, and he loves them. And he trusts them. In fact, he entrusts them with an ever-enlarging mission. He entrusts them with a Great Commission. He entrusts a rag-tag group of doubters because he sees them, not through the lens of their doubt or their lackluster. He sees them through love and knows them as transformed human beings who will transform the world – not through their own authority and power, but through his. He has chosen to entrust himself to them and through them.
And, you know – that’s what faith is really about, trust. It’s not ultimately about belief, at least in the ways we define that word today. Isn’t that strange? We hear the word ‘believe’ a lot when we talk about faith. We read it in our scriptures. And perhaps one of the saddest things is that when we see the word, especially in our scriptures, we often super-impose our cultural understanding of what that word means onto the text. In our culture, when someone believes, that person intellectually assents to something. “Yep, I believe that. Check yes!”
But the word ‘believe’ in our scriptures says something much deeper than that. Often in the gospels, in the original language, the word ‘believe’ is often followed by the word ‘into.’ Isn’t that interesting? Believing doesn’t mean to intellectually assent to some idea. It means to believe into – to trust – someone, in this case, Jesus Christ. Believe into Jesus Christ. Entrust yourself – your entire being – into Jesus Christ. Trust and risk that you can put your weight on the foundation of Who He Is. Believe into him. Lean yourself – your convictions, your doubts, your gifts, your weaknesses, your questions, your pain, your joy – lean all of it – all of yourself – into who this one is. That’s much deeper than intellectual assent, isn’t it? That’s much deeper and more profound than a ‘check yes’ mentality to this theological proposition or that theological proposition. It’s also much harder.
It’s much harder! And here is the Risen Christ standing before a bunch of rag-tag doubters, and he puts this type of belief into action. He believes in his disciples – not because of their specialness or extraordinary-ness, not because of their ‘check yes’ intellectual assent (they’re doubters!) – he believes in his disciples by entrusting himself to them. Yes, entrusting himself to them! In his name and in his authority, these disciples will make disciples and baptize them into Love, sending out even more disciples. They are participating and reverberating a circle of love, mission, and service – sending it wider and wider all the time.
And Jesus isn’t leaving them. No, the Risen Christ entrusts himself, pledging to be with them every moment along the way. Not just here and there. Every moment! Not just at the end. Every moment! He says, “And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Always. To and through the end. Always. Always, Christ is present with his disciples. Always, Christ is present with us.
We come to the close of a year – at least, a close as far as the academic calendar goes. And we’ve discerned Christ’s risen presence among us. We’ve worshiped. We’ve had doubts. We’ve asked questions. We’ve traveled. We’ve laughed. We’ve played. We’ve cried. We’ve gotten injured on ski slopes for crying out loud! We’ve confided. We’ve loved. We’ve prayed. We’ve invited others. And through it all, we’ve witnessed Christ’s presence among us. We’ve made disciples. We’ve taught. We’ve sent one another forth. And we’ve done all these things – not because we’re more special than others, or because we’re extraordinary – we’ve done them because we’ve had the opportunity – the incredible opportunity! – to participate in a circle larger than ourselves, a circle that grows wider and wider all the time. We don’t do it in our name. We do it in Christ’s Name. What a gift.
Have you ever dropped a rock into a pond of some kind and watched the ripples go out? When we drop a pebble, we can see those ripples for a while, but as they spread out wider, it’s hard for us to see how and where they’re continuing. But they are. And have you ever participated in something that led to something else which led to something else, onward and onward with a constant ripple effect? Maybe those ripples have been initiated by us, but after a while, they take a life of their own and move outward from us in ways that are beyond our control. I think that’s what we’re doing here in this community. I think that’s what God is doing in and through us. In our lives together, in our actions together and out in our larger spheres of life, we’re working (failing sometimes, but working) to entrust ourselves to Jesus Christ, who has entrusted himself to us, and that process of entrusting ourselves is like dropping a rock into the pond of God’s grace, and we too are being commissioned for service. We’re called to make waves. We’re called to set waves of God’s love into motion. We do this as individuals, but maybe even more importantly, we do it as a community.
You, Austin Agape, are a community that makes waves. And you are called to make more waves all the time. Swim deep. Splash and play with all your gusto! Jesus Christ has entrusted himself – he has leaned all of Who He Is into you – and he commissions you to fully live, making disciples, doing works of justice and kindness in this world. Make waves, Austin Agape. Make waves, University Presbyterian Church. Splash like crazy! Splash and make waves because you have experienced the Risen Christ and you are witnesses in this world.
I want you to know that you have made waves so deep and so rich in my world. Those waves reverberate with me, everywhere I go. I want you to know that I would not be who I am or where I am had I not met you.
Five years ago, I stood in a field in Germany, and prayed like crazy because I was terrified that I was about to move to Texas. I had been singing in some choral competitions with my choir, and I was really struggling with this whole Austin move. I had been terrified and frustrated with that decision for weeks, but I knew it was right. And finally, when I stood in that field, five years ago to this week, I can’t explain it, I was overcome with a powerful sense of love, transcendence, peace, and vision that I can only attribute to God. I knew that I had to move to Austin because there were people there who would make me. . .me.
In that moment, those people were general and vague. Today, five years later, they have names. And so many of them are in this room right now.
Up and to the day, I graduated seminary and even a bit longer, I never thought I would be a pastor. Oh, I would probably get another degree eventually and be a professor. And that would have been nice. Yes, a theology professor. That sounded wonderful. And that was my track up until the day I found out surprisingly that I was being called into this position, that I was being called to be your pastor. I was scared then too. More scared than you know. And yet, I took the risk. And it was the greatest blessing I could have ever imagined.
Did that decision to say yes make waves here? I would say yes. But the waves haven’t been mine. You’ve made waves too. And ultimately, the waves of healing, prayer, meals where everyone is included, and life-altering parables – those belong to Jesus Christ. Those belong to the Triune God.
Thank you. I want you to know that you are the love of my life. The waves of love you sent into me will go on beyond this place and beyond me toward others who I’ll meet along the way. You’ll be with me all the time.
And soon, our relationship will change. I won’t be your pastor anymore. But the love will still go on in ways deeper and broader than we know now. You can be assured of this. You can put your weight on it: There will be no day – ever! – that I will not love you. That’s not changing. I hope that when we’re 50, we’ll be connected and in each others’ lives. I’ll be human, and I won’t love perfectly. But you can trust – you can believe, entrust – that my love for you continues. Always. And you can know that whoever I continue to love, whoever I continue to meet, your life, your love will ripple through me to them. Always.
And there is One who goes with us. Jesus Christ goes with you. Jesus Christ goes with me. He leads you. He leads me. He loves fully, not imperfectly. He’s the True Human, the One Whose love is complete and all-encompassing. He is the One who is with us to and through the end. When Jesus says he is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, he literally says that he is the Road, the Truth, and the Life. You and I might be in two different states soon. Actually, some day, we’ll all be in different places. But we’ll never be on a different road. Never.
Thanks be to God for the gift of entrusting, for the gift of becoming, for the gift of belonging. Make waves. It’s who you are. Amen.
-Renée Roederer, Campus Minister, and the Austin Agape Community
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